Back Off!

As you all might know, I’m not one to complain about growing old.  Ok, that’s a lie!

Anyway, my slight whinge for today is the aged back.  I know as Dads we think we are invincible but I definitely think our back is our kryptonite to superdads - it is there to simply say “oh no, wait just a minute, you are not 21 anymore, nor are you 31 so let’s just calm it down a bit shall we”.

I’m sure many of us have these occasions but as I sit here, uncomfortable and wearing what can only be described as a corset around my torso I realise the truth… I’m not 21 anymore!!

How can it be that you could be doing the most innocuous thing like getting out of bed or stepping into the car or shower. Then the sudden twang of discomfort hits you… “Aarrgghh!!” or “Ooouucchh!!” Is the next thing that can be heard. Then the pause… The moment to assess the damage.  Is it just an old person twinge or are you going to be hobbling around for a week or worse still laid up in bed.

I almost think us old chaps could have a pub chat and a Dominos like “back off” or maybe a "Backgammon off" about who’s is the worst or the most painful or was caused by the most unusual incident. Maybe we should call it “Backgambling”…

I blame our kids…  How often do you try to keep up with them?  Not sensible when they are supple and lithe, whilst you are not supple and not lithe and have definitely added a few pounds around the waist and many other areas!!

Recently, at the driving range, I tried to out drive my son as we practised for our next round.  That was not very clever as I now contemplate the next dose of Ibuprofen.  Again, act your age springs to mind!

It had began well and we had enjoyed one of the fancy games they have on these systems today.  We chose what looked like a fairly straight forward course and set about our virtual 18 holes.  It was great fun, no putting - always a bonus in my book.  You simply chip at a chosen flag instead.  No tricky greens to read and no nervous three footers!!

It was only after we’d finished the round and with a few balls left… the dreaded “I bet I can out drive you these days” was the challenge that came from the 6ft 3” son.  “I accept the challenge” was my foolish reply.

It was my second drive I realised the mistake.  “I think I better call that it son”.  I wheezed at him after overextending the no longer supple back.

This brings me back to where I am today, sat with a tight wrapping around my torso and regretting the foolish driving competition.  If only I had done what Marty did in Back to the Future III and slammed it in reserve avoiding the collision.  I should have taken out the wedge and had a sedate chip instead...

I will never learn the best approach is always to “back off”.