Dad's Space!

As soon as you become a Dad, you seek to find those places you can escape to - for a bit a quiet and to take a breath! If you have them, this is when you will very much value your garage and loft, far more than before. They will affectionately be known to the children as ‘Dad’s space’ - when they know Dad is home but have no idea where he is!!!

They need to be ‘your space‘ as you will come to learn that the rest of the house is ‘not yours’. Before children, you had some space in: the bedroom, the sitting room and other spots too. However, now you have a solitary drawer in the bedroom and a small wardrobe section to hang suites, the rest of the space is ‘not yours’. Anything else you have to wear or store, needs to live on 'the chair' - the chair by your side of the bed; just next to the bedside table filled with Dad junk!

The dart board is in the 'kids room' (you'll be aware of this from my 'A load of BULL in lockdown' blog) this area has been surrendered reluctantly and you are not truly welcome there unless you are some kind of Jedi Master on the family chosen games console......

You also have nothing in the sitting room either and are not welcome there until after dark; when the kids vacate to ‘do more FaceTiming’ or on the very rare occasion - home work!

There used to be some solace in the kitchen but now you are ‘wary' of the kitchen; wary of the jobs that are in there: filling and emptying the dishwater and washing machine, making packed lunches, peeling, cutting, preparing, cooking and stirring things or worse still washing, drying and putting things away. Remember, every cupboard is always full; there is never anywhere to put anything. You will always fail this task. Therefore, you should always avoid the kitchen unless you are hungry or need fluid! I do actually enjoy cooking - I think it makes for a good de-stress at the end of a long day (with a glass of wine, obviously).

It will sound strange but you will begin to find that the loft and especially the garage are your ‘friends’. The loft will become the ‘safe landing zone’ for all the stuff you know the family won’t really need that often. The location where you say everything is, when the kids ask: “where’s that box of games we used to have or where’s my old play kitchen and soft toys, or my remote controlled car and Scalextric”. "No, no - we didn’t throw those away” you reply. “They are in the loft; I cannot get them right now, another day maybe.....” you finish and swiftly move on.

The garage is for the stuff that’s either too big for the house, important stuff - like bikes and general life kit or it will be used as a ‘waiting room’ for the Tip (sorry.... Recycling Centre). Plus, it’s somewhere to keep all that DIY stuff you’ve bought or been bought as gifts but you will never use properly - if at all!

You also become very protective of ‘your friends’. Your wife might say “can you grab the step ladder?” or “I’m just nipping into the garage”. “I just want to check if that bag and those summer clothes are there”. Nooooo, you think and then calmly answer “that’s fine, I’ll check that for you now”.

If it’s the loft, you position the old step ladder, as stably as possible, and take the first creaky step. As you progress upwards and wrestle the loft hatch door away, sliding it under one of the poorly fitted tongue and groove loft boards; you are greeted by 'the loft smell', that sort of good and bad smell you can’t quite explain. You raise yourself in via the two, now slightly worn, roof beams and swing your backside across onto another cleverly positioned loft board as your foot leaves the ladder with little grace but good fortune not to slip off.

Once inside, and on getting to your feet “what a mess” you whisper under your breath. You are convinced 90% could go to the - Recycling Centre!

You will, as I do, look across the space: over the badly boxed Christmas tree and decorations, over the spare duvet, pillows and sleeping bags, over the boxes that you have no clue what is within and past the many years of suitcases (covered in dust - now called 'Corona-dust 'as that's what's prevented you using them). There it is; you eventually see it; the area you designated to ‘clothes’. Sadly this area is right at the back and as there are so few, of the aforementioned loft boards (as you haven’t done that ‘boarding the loft task’ you had planned) you pause to consider your route. Similar to a scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark', you identify the hazards along the way and your path to the prize - “board, beam (holding rafter), board, beam (avoiding pipe for shower below), grab, turn and repeat” you say to yourself and step forward with care. One false move and there’ll be a leg dangling through the bedroom ceiling!!

The garage on the other hand is a little different, a loyal friend with limited hazards to negotiate. Sometimes you don’t even need a reason, like a great friend; you just visit to say -“hi”. The children definitely know this as a ‘Dad space’. They know it’s the place for storing their bikes, beach gear and all their old school work but they also know it’s where Dad: ‘does’ sawing wood, tries to fix things, stores those olden-days strange looking things called CDs, records and that thing from the dark ages - the wedding video on VHS, and of course - the car! What a joke that is - does anyone actually have space for their car?!! Maybe a dinky toy!!

The challenge, you will undoubtedly find, is that now, every Dad space is full. The loft is full; the garage is full. Not full of our Dad stuff, it’s now generally everyone else's stuff - mainly the kids’ stuff.

This must be the time you look to buy a shed. Surely to become another great friend or move the clutter in there and welcome back your good old friend - the garage!

What a good plan - I'm off to get shedded!