Testing times with Jabb-in-a-Hutt!!

I know many of you out there will be young and fit (obviously, just like me...!!!). However, for those of us already in our late something-ty’s (looking forward to or at least a little closer to retirement than we would like to confess) I feel I had to share my experiences of moving from home schooling to home testing in this global pandemic!

I’m sure we are all looking positively towards the vaccine and hopefully it will bring a level of normality back sooner rather than later. For those of us lucky enough to be blessed with kids, at least they have been able to go back to school now. However, our home tasks are not fully completed yet! With home schooling behind us a new challenge has started.

This Easter break period has been interesting, sobering, frustrating and extremely annoying at times. It’s a good job for the new vinyl LP interest and the dart board. I have to say, I think I need a new dart board now though!

I’ll start with the lateral flow tests! As parents, I’m sure many of you, like us, are all in the process of helping our kids through their prescribed tests - swab tonsils at least five times then up a nostril five times.... And swipe into fluid pot before squeegeeing out two drops into the test tray and then 30 minute wait...and report - good or bad! This is now the twice weekly activity!!

The kids are fantastic. Both of our two just get on with it and never grumble. But I hate the fact that they have to do it and also hate that I choose to do it too. Where is that swear jar from ‘Speak & Spellbound’ blog...?

So begins my new twice weekly routine too, tonsils and nostrils! Making sure I do the tonsil bit first as the other way around would be even more unpleasant!

As for all the kits laying around the house added to the face masks, bottles of gel and plastic gloves; I’m not surprised China’s economy has shot up 18.2% post Covid, it must be absolutely booming again after the virus!

Us parents also have the joy of the vaccine to try and help minimise the impact of this horrible virus. It’s amazing what has been implemented here in the UK. I’m not one for going into politics or anything like that so I’ll keep this simple. I know lots more could and probably should have been done before and throughout this nightmare but what the NHS has managed to achieve to date is staggering - again a huge thanks has to go to all those involved and especially front and centre both employed and volunteers. Amazing.

My experience of the vaccine was somewhat underwhelming. This is in a good way. You sort of build yourself up to the event as it feels like such a seismic step. Being younger than my wife (sorry...) she was the family guinea pig. I have to say, it wasn’t a promising start; the process didn’t seem easy. Arrival at a packed vaccine centre, and when I say packed, I mean cars bumped up pavements, queues as far as the eye can see and people lined up like animals at the slaughterhouse gates. It looked terrible and after an hour wait my wife finally got her first jab in a small hut like cubicle. This process, coupled with the home testing debacle left me extremely unimpressed - panic buying vinyl LP’s and using the dart board to extremes as a de-stressing mechanism!!

Now a month into it, we have a testing ritual in this house. The kids have tests on a Wednesday and a Sunday and my wife and I on Tuesday and Friday - lovely!! I guess the sad thing is, it’s becoming part of the routine now and the kids don’t even bat an eyelid (different type of bat...).

So, back to my vaccine experience. Well, this was significantly different to my wife’s. I would even go as far as to say ‘slick’, on this occasion, only four weeks after my wife’s challenges (albeit at a different vaccine centre) the process was highly efficient. The NHS website allows you to select a time and a location. On arrival, I was pleasantly surprised to see a steady flow of people ambling in and out of the vaccine centre with no queues or any sign of stress or panic. This was a good start, on entering the centre, I had my head scanned by one of those infrared thermometers and was passed through to the check-in desk for registration, and to give my consent for the vaccine. It is here that you also get given the ‘leaflet’. I hate the ‘leaflet’. All medication has one. This shows you all the side effects and potential problems from having the injection - how did it come to this!!! Anyway, once through registration, it was a short, clear route straight to another hut like cubicle for ‘my turn’. In confirming I was not allergic to anything, didn’t have anything nasty I was aware of, no Covid symptoms and ‘not pregnant’; I raised the sleeve of the t-shirt on my left shoulder - and jab... “That’s it, you can go. Oh, please don’t drive for 10 minutes” I was told. That was all it was, off I went back home.

To all those who have this to look forward to - a visit to Jabb-in-a-Hutt is not as bad as it might seem. At least the floor doesn’t open up and drop you into the Rancor pit!!

Take care all and stay committed to the plan. We’ll get through this soon.