Turning Tables!

As we continue to be impacted and heavily restricted by the latest lockdown challenges due to the coronavirus pandemic, my thoughts often drift towards dreaming of holidays and eating out. Holidays are clearly an exciting part of family life, whether you are fortunate enough to be able to travel abroad or choose a staycation; they make for great memories. They also create some perfect opportunities for The Dad Files stories.

One trip we had to La Rochelle; a delightful city in southwestern France with a bustling marina and quaint old harbour, will always stay with me as a moment of brilliance in my son’s ability in ‘turning tables’. Don’t worry Adele fans - no singing involved here...

Turning tables is usually very important in a restaurant, as they need a quick turnaround to increase the number of covers and drive up profits. The faster you can do it, the better.

We’d had a lovely day and chose to sit down at a bright waterside restaurant with seating inside and out. We selected a small group of tables outside; near to the walkway overlooking the more extravagantly prepared formal seating area elegantly positioned in the centre of the small square.

We ordered two cafe au lait‘s and two ice creams. Very nice. As expected our son finished his ice cream in a flash and was off to explore. “Be careful and don’t touch anything” I said to him as he jumped up from his seat.

I’d say it was about three minutes later we heard ‘the noise’. Parents will have heard it many times. It’s the combination of metal cutlery, china crockery and glass hitting something hard with a reasonable amount of force. A cacophony of sound that echos around and which instantly causes a parent to be alert. So too, the 20 other people sat enjoying a peaceful refreshment.... Well, it had been peaceful. I’ll now paint the picture for you...

Our son had inadvertently slipped off the walkway balustrade, very appealing on their own with ornate design. Not that he noticed them that much as he tumbled from them like a naive diver leaping from a diving board and awaiting the result of a belly flop, he‘d landed on one table and collected at least three or four more in the melee.

In the brief silence afterwards, as he began to raise himself from the mess; like a scene from an Avengers movie as the hero rises from the destruction, he gathered himself, sheepishly, to walk across the walkway back to us. We stood in disbelief. Fortunately he was fine but the armageddon left behind was a site to behold.

You could also see the signs that this was now a pivotal moment, in which time stood still for an undefined period... Then, not wanting a scene from a 1980's Domino Rally challenge from the kids TV show Record Breakers, immediately there were waiters and other staff rushing everywhere. Grabbing chairs, tables, table clothes, glasses, plates, dustpans and brushes. It was like a dance or a scene from a theatrical play as the staff weaved between each other smothering the dining area.

Following this short hiatus - success, they managed to ‘stem the flow’ of tables toppling like dominos and restore order.

As my son completed his walk of shame across the walkway back to us, I apologised and offered to pay for the damage in my best French possible. I think they said “don’t worry“ but I could have been wrong.

We left a big tip and departed somewhat embarrassed and relieved. Well, they allowed us to leave so they must have been ok....right?

Now, that’s what I call turning tables!!!