Zooming in on 2021

As we finally exit the nightmare that is 2020 and with the catastrophic global impact of COVID-19 driving many to work from home for the last nine months and many months to come, I thought I would share my thoughts about a Dad’s experience during this time. Through full lockdown, tiers and all manner of other approaches, it has been an education.

Talking of education, what is it with the confusion on schools - Petri dishes - “close them” I say!!

I remember during the first lockdown when schools did close and we had to work from home with ‘parenting’ duties still required. I’m sure there are many out there who experienced a child charging in during a video call or what we all seem to now rely on a 'Zoom' meeting. One experience I remember was when on a call and a small child approached from the side of the screen with his finger well and truly up his nose, as though digging for treasure, he presented his slightly embarrassed Dad with the results of his search. "Not now son", his Dad replied as the small lad decided on the best location to deposit his treasure. Unfortunately he chose his mouth... Sick emoji required..... Another less ‘green’ experience when a colleague's kids began burying each other under the sofa cushions to the horror of onlookers - "err Sally, you might want to turn around and sort that out..." Or a great one with another colleague when his son had drum lessons every Thursday. On one particularly energetic lesson he’d clearly been learning the ‘gallop’ beat from heavy metal music and finishing with a ‘trash can‘ ending both very high impact and extremely loud. Now that’s a challenge when speaking on a video call!! ”SORRY EVERYONE, I’LL JUST GO ON MUTE” we hear him shout. It has however, been great how we have all embraced this approach and found the humour of it rather than the frustration.

My own experience on video calls is also fair game for abuse... I basically always have my camera pointing upwards, not to show any particular part of me in a better light but simply to hide the devastation within the room I use as my home office. There are piles of old clothes, unopened post; the stuff you know is rubbish so don’t bother opening, plus duvets preparing for going to the loft and worst of all the mountain of shedding that needs to be completed... One person even asked me if I was in a 'cell' as there are no pictures on the wall and all they could see were the blank walls and the ceiling!

I also like to avoid showing all the empty packets of biscuits, sweet wrappers or crisp bags. Naughty habits picked up in lockdown!! What is it with the torment of biscuits. I can sit there and eat a full pack of anything from: Jammy Dodgers, Rich Tea, Maryland Cookies, Custard Creams to even a big pack of Digestives. The only item that doesn’t get eaten like this would be those Pink Panther wafer things...gross!

I must compliment my kids though. They have been amazing during lockdown and have generally just ‘got on with it’ when it comes to homework and home working.

There does seem to have been somewhat of a role reversal though. On one occasion, I run upstairs singing ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor and of Rocky movie fame. No sooner am I at the top of the stairs when I’m greeted by a stern face exclaiming to me “err Dad, virtual Maths lesson - we can all hear you” followed by “you are so embarrassing”.

Or another occasion when I hit my first 180 on the dart board and started charging round the house shouting “one hundred and eightyyyyy” in the tone of the great gravely voiced darts referee Russ Bray. Bad mistake as my daughter stormed out of her room stating that I was crazy and could she ask for a refund or exchange!!! Oops...

As for my son, whilst he’s working, I’m banned from the dart board. It’s in the room below his bedroom, so similar to my parents banging on a wall or floor if my brother and I played our music too loud as kids, my son bangs on the floor shouting “all I can hear is that dart thud” or “do you have to do that, these are my A- Levels you know” and simply “please stop”.

So, there I am stuck in my little home office just ‘working’!!

It’s amazing how quickly the time does disappear though. You can be sat there and suddenly a number of hours have passed and your Apple Watch is going crazy buzzing at you to ‘move’ so you can keep your 12 hour streak going!! Quickly jump up out of your seat, run around the room and wave your arms, that should get you this hour. I can see my neighbours looking strangely through the window at me as I flail around the room like some kind of whirling dervish or a scene from Home Alone as Macaulay Culkin’s Kevin runs from the burglars played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.

As for my wife, she surely needs a medal! If it’s not me complaining about going from one virtual meeting to another with limited time to have a wee let alone eat... It will be me ranting about broadband issues shouting "broadband is slow again, can you get the kids off FaceTime and Gaming, I sound like a Dalek on this call” or worse still “broadband is down, broadband is down - can you reboot the router”. I’m sure the internet has ‘broken’ during this mass work from home period. However, this can be a good excuse if you are late up one morning and sat on the Zoom call in your bed shorts and no top on - “I’m so sorry everyone, I have broadband issues so cannot use my camera....” you might say in the hope of getting away with it!!

My conclusion here is that things will get easier. We keep our fingers crossed for the success of the two vaccines released so far but I feel for all those families that have really struggled through this sad and complex time and for all those who have lost loved ones. Stay strong, stay safe everyone.

We’ve 'Zoomed’ through 2020 but let’s hope we get the chance to take time to enjoy a prosperous 2021...

Happy New Year everyone...fingers crossed!!!